The ‘reasonably good coach’ and the yin & yan of coaching relationships

I left the room feeling very frustrated and not delivering to my full capacity as a coach and consultant. As I explored my frustration something came up in my mind. All of sudden, there he was … Winnicott was letting me see that being a ‘coach’ was  not different to being ‘the reasonably good mother’. Of course every mother sees her child as the most beautiful, intelligent, capable human on earth … it has to be so, this is how it needs be if s/he is to help him/her develop healthily. Doing this she ensures that her child can abandon himself / herself to explore, seriously play and be curious. Her constant encouragement is joined with the certainty for the child that s/he will provide protection and comfort should unexpected and unintended outcomes appear, that the warmth of her arms will soothe any narcissistic wounding.

Yet, the ‘reasonably good mother’ as ‘the reasonably good coach’, is and should never be blind to reality. She needs to let the child know s/he is not perfect and do it with extreme care, naming what is, yet in doing so not reducing a iota the child’s worth. And this is put simply what we try to do in our coaching relationships. We help our ‘children’ navigate through life creating a safe container where it is possible to understand, stretch oneself and maintain the unique value we all bring to this world. And when it is possible for a human being to span her wings to their full potential and enjoy the wind as she flies, who knows what she will be able to unlock, discover and pursue?.